oldmanhangout | HETALIA CHIPS: TASTES LIKE IMPERIALISM

HETALIA CHIPS: TASTES LIKE IMPERIALISM

Please don't kill me.

Since Mr. Cold War is hoping to get his chip out and Hetalia is absolute crack, I wanted to put up what I hope to do for an event/powers so the cast can have an input if they don't agree. I'm going partly by previous agreements (I can't find the original plotting post but this was the basic outcome) but I fully realize that much of the cast is newer and have more to say.

This is all just to maintain some basic level of consistency (BUT AGAIN. HETALIA. ANYTHING GOES.) But anyway.

POWERS:

Alright, we all know Hetalia is basically "WHATEVER IS FUNNY IS POSSIBLE", but there's so much fanon/actual "powers" that can be concluded from the comics (America's super strength, England's magic, Russia's resistance to dark magic, etc). These following points were discussed in the past and seem to be consistent within the cast, but just to be sure:

✗ Immortality: ...to a degree. I've seen several others say that, in Hetalia-land, they can't die for realsies unless their culture is destroyed, land given away, etc. I would assume that some of the same basic things apply to Discedo.

However--and this is where your opinions count!--since none of the countries are connected to their people or land in Disc, I would imagine they'd be much harder to kill, but not impossible. Or, at the least, if a country were to "die", they'd be revived by the scientists before they'd naturally revive (again, this is all based on personal interpretations). THOUGHTS ARE APPRECIATED.

✗ Fast Healing: If Russia can jump out of a plane and be back on the field in no time, England can recover from (seemingly) life-threatening wounds in three days, and America can break his leg and recover quickly, I think it's safe to say that these guys get over externally-inflicted wounds quickly. What I mean by "externally-inflicted" are wounds like getting shot, stabbed, burned, etc. as opposed to wounds they'd receive due to traumatic historical events or natural disasters, like China's scar from the Sino-Japanese war.

✗ RANDOM BULLSHIT: America breaks the laws of time and space to use Google, Prussia breaks the 4th wall, and Russia eats directional arrows. I have no point to make other than it will get worse than puking bears. WELCOME TO HETALIA. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR RATIONALITY AT THE DOOR.

If there's anything else you guys want to add/contribute, let me know!

CHIP EVENT(ISH):
ALSO CALLED: THIS IS REALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO HAVE FUN WITH HISTORY
Note: I talked to a mod about this and I think as long as I clear it with you guys, it'll be okay.

This won't affect anyone directly but America, though again, in case anyone is hellbent on something silly like consistency, I'll put this here in case anyone wants to do something similar if their character gets their chip out/if you have any other ideas.

SHORT VERSION: America will be re-experiencing history, both physically and mentally, in hyper speed throughout the "sick" week after chip removal as his body becomes accustomed to being a country again.

MEDIUM VERSION: I'm still totally in the planning process of this.

LONG VERSION: Once America has his chip removed, he'll start feeling lightheaded, extremely queasy, basic sick stuff. He'll still be in his typical 60s mindset by this point, complain, and lay down for a nap.

He's going to wake up slightly younger-looking with ~~better eyesight~~ jaundice. HELLO THERE YELLOW FEVER EPIDEMIC OF 1793. Or maybe I'll start at the end of the Revolutionary war I don't really know at this point.

Not that anyone cares but HERE ARE TIME PERIODS I'M HOPING TO HIT UP THROUGHOUT THE WEEK (or maybe a little longer since I doubt anyone wants me posting every day):
The War of 1812: /invades Canada's vital regions
American Civil War: the return of Sir Multi personality
American Imperialism: "AHHHH I LOVE THE SMELL OF SMALL PACIFIC ISLANDS IN THE MORNING"
World War I: so about them Devil Dogs
The Great Depression: according to O Brother Where Art Thou, people sing and reenact The Odyssey
World War II: oh hay Hetalia
The 1950s Red Scare: "YOU KNOW, JAIL ISN'T SO BAD. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN SALEM. ~~ALSO HAVE YOU READ THE CRUCIBLE?~~"
*some is subject to change because DAMN IT I WANT TO DO MANIFEST DESTINY TOO.

America will be behaving and appearing as though he's from these time periods. By that I mean, for example with the Civil War, he'll be torn apart, his body will be wrecked to hell, and worse. He'll also talk as though he's both the Union and the Confederacy and see perceive other countries from the context of his time period. Rinse and repeat with every time period.

SO WHY AM I POSTING ALL THIS HERE? Because I want to know if you guys are okay if I do this. As Parron said, this doesn't have to be the definitive chip event for other countries; we can chalk it all up to willpower, difference in countries and their history, time spent in Discedo, etc. Or we can bullshit it. Once again: this is all depending if you guys want rigid consistency or don't care. I'd like to note that I'm starting after America's independence because colonialism would a) be too much to do and b) kill everyone with the cuteness of Babbymerica. If anyone wants to do something similar, go ahead and start from whatever time period you like/feel comfortable with/what have you.

I FEEL LIKE I HAD MORE TO SAY BUT I'M GOING TO LET YOU GUYS SPEAK NOW. INPUT PLZ.

And for the record, America won't be getting his chip out until after whatever mod event is upcoming. This is just to plan in the mean time.

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✗ DEATH AND DYING. I think a lot about this one, and I think it really depends. Because we have the example of Rome "dying" but showing up to randomly talk to Italy / harass Germany on one occasion - so it has precedent. But then we have Poland, the little country that could. Who kept. Coming. Back. So it really turns out as a logical...dilemma. Why did Germania and Rome die, but not Poland? Because we know, historically, that Poland is a country today? I have a lot of headcanon about Poland staying with Russia and such, and there was definitely still Polish nationalism so I suppose maybe it has a lot to do with the citizens. I mean Poland wasn't a country, but you still have many polish nationalists whereas Romans more or less disappeared? But that doesn't really explain Germania at all. But it is a kind of popular fan theory to kill of Prussia, for the same general reasons I guess as Rome and Germania are gone. There is no Prussia today, and everything. But how do we know that some weird thing won't happen and suddenly: PRUSSIA! I mean, it happened with Poland, didn't it? I would say the defining line goes back to nationalism. I mean probably there are people in Kaliningrad (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaliningrad) who think, gee, this would be cool to be Prussia again but I think the fierce kinds of nationalism that surrounded Prussia are gone - and have been gone - since after World War II. Although Prussia canonically becomes East Germany I don't know that it would really mean that he'd still be around today. I tend to be optimistic, it's just another union, something we've touched on already, so he can still be around. But maybe he really does die like Rome and Germania.

So, basically, they can die, but only if basically all their people - and their people's desire to have said country - are gone. Although really there are a lot of inconsistencies in canon.

✗ SEX. Okay. This is. kind of a complex question because I have a lot of head canon about this, especially lately. Well, for Germany. You other countries can do you thing. But it's story time.

Once upon a time in 1890 a play was written, although it wouldn't be performed until 1906 in Berlin. Now, Germany at this time...was kind of young. The Holy Roman Empire dissolved after the 30 Years War in 1806, which is kind of where my head canon for Germany starts. I tend to think of it as they're the same person, but he doesn't really remember just kind of woke up in the forest oh hi France but more on that in the last question, since it's a big part of headcanon for Germany really. Anyway the play was called Frühlings Erwachen. It deals with some very sexual things and was banned a bunch of times but later made into an American Musical by the same name, Spring Awakening. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring_Awakening) Canonically, we have the example of the Valentine's Day comic with Germany really talking about his lack of experience, and there is mention of his reading of books to really understand that. I don't think he really learned anything from Prussia - they're brothers, but they don't talk about that stuff. Otherwise he wouldn't have had that conversation with Austria. And in that same comic there is that "oh shit Italy is a guy" kind of moment so I don't think he really thinks of it in terms of homosexuality/heterosexuality w/e because they're nations and that's just. different I suppose, for them? Getting back to Spring Awakening since I've gotten super off track from where I started. I imagine he saw it and was just like what.

Also there's homosexuality in that I think that's why I brought it up I can't really remember anymore expect that i wanted to reference it, really. But I imagine he saw it and then mentioned it to Prussia but didn't really talk about it because of society then and everything. Okay then we hit ~1920s~ and Wiemar and lol Berlin in the 1920s (Cabaret, anyone?). 1920s Berlin was super risqué, but I think that was more of a human-thing. I think Germany probably was...interested (not really the shade of meaning I want but we'll go with that) and went to cabarets but still didn't really. get it? Anyway I think sex with humans is a big no no as far as countries go, but Germany is just super awkward about everything.

Now wrapping up what I have to say about this, I'm going back to the homosexuality thing. Canonically, Germany is pretty gay. He has that weird thing for Italy. This is not a surprise. Berlin is one of the gayest cities in the world, present day. BUT. Homosexuality was definitely not okay in the timeline I have him from. There were gay nazis, (and in cases like Röhm they got killed., although that was kind of a cover) but homosexuality was something you did not do. Just sometimes they just of, uh, pushed it under the table if they needed you around. And then blackmailed you. And then used it as an excuse if you had to be killed. And gays got sent to concentrations camps. So even though with Austria on Valentine's day his big thing is more about oh god Italy is a guy but doesn't quite get to the -- ohshit that means I'm gay, I think he definitely had some kind of existentialist crisis over that. Probably it got concluded with "well we're countries, it's different." but the ideology of the time was stringently anti-homosexual, so it would definitely be a point of considerable unsure-ity. Like "I'm not sure if I should be this because, gosh, that is not going over well for humans."

✗ HUMANS IN HETALIA. - Hm, I have a couple theories on this. One of them is that people just...know. Kind of an uncanny feeling, I guess. Because otherwise who would believe them?

On the other hand, maybe in hetalia verse people just know their country exists, the way I know there is a pope, but wouldn't necessarily recognize him if he was walking down the street. I mean, I would definitely be able to recognize the Pope without his Pope-Gear on, but if someone said, "Hey Rema this is the Pope, he's the leader of the Catholic Church" I'd be like, "Oh cool, 'sup Mister Pope?" So I tend to go with that, where they know they exist but maybe if they are from rural areas they wouldn't really know. We do see canon examples of people interacting with the countries, like when the humans were like:

Not only does this gathered group of what appears to be soldiers know Germany, they also know drinking habits. (Incidentally, a new study shows that the pope is catholic. (http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,,5444002,00.html?maca=en-rss-en-all-1573-rdf)) So people definitely know him - but that would make sense, soldiers knowing him - again. Pope theory.

✗ BEFORE "COUNTRIES." Ah okay so my headcanon for Germany is that he is the HRE but he woke up with like amnesia ~in the middle of the forest~ after HRE got their asses kicked by Napoleon. Afterall, in the Valentine's Day comic there's that bit where we see Chibitalia as ~if in a memory~ in the very end. But I don't think he remembers. At all. It's just a new start. Same tiny blond boy, growing up in Franch's house. (Kind of scary when you think about it.) I think he probably just...sort of knew and was sort of told by France? "Ma petite Confédération du Rhin~" (okay I never know what gender to do the stuff in the confederation is feminine in French, orz) kind of thing and was never like "Hey sup you're a country" but it came out in context.

Maybe a heart to heart about how France is the awesome protector of your lands aren't you happy. I don't know that countries would recognize one another like "Oh hi you're Prussia. I know it." They may sort of be able to tell that person is a country but not super well. Just kind of ...oh maybe they're a country. But not like "OH YOU ARE PRUSSIA NICE TO MEET YOU."

A bishop can meet another bishop but without bishop-gear they may not know they're both bishops unless they say it. (idk why I have so many catholic metaphors today. I just do.)

IN CONCLUSION I WRITE A LOT.

HOLY CRAP THIS IS A LOT you put me to shameeee.

My opinions are scattered all over this post and I've already told you that I totally based America's first sexual experience off of The Guilty Ones, but to elaborate more on that: America lived in this giant house. Alone. During puberty. He really had no idea wtf he was doing and things happened and he was eventually like "AHHHHH I'VE RUINED THIS GIRL" which just makes me think of the Arcadia quote about the difference between a ruined child and a ruined castle is that the castle is picturesque.

But anyway. Eventually he gftover himself and he went to like, every single one of Gypsy Rose Lee's strip shows (but that's also because she's just awesome and historically significant but whatever).

...lolol in that picture wtf is with that kid with the Italy hair.

...Oh wait, that should say definitely not be able to recognize the pope without his pope-gear.

...I think the jist came out of that anyway.

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HETALIA CHIPS: TASTES LIKE IMPERIALISM

...tl;dr, it's what's for breakfast.

okay here's more

oh, lj.

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